I was watching this old movie and I really liked this scene between Edvard, the priest, and his soon-to-be wife, Emilie.
A bit of background. “Fanny and Alexander” is a very old but highly rated Sweedish movie which had won 4 oscars. And I can see why! Emilie was left a young widow with two young children after the untimely death of her husband, Oscar. From a life of happiness and parties and loads of laughter, she goes to a new house with a new man in hopes she will be able to offer her children a good life, with a stable father figure – a priest who she met at her husband’s funeral.
After introducing his new fiancee to his mother and sister (both dressed in black and having sour puss faces), the priest makes one request.
The priest says: “A single wish, but an important one. You may change your mind if you find it impossible.”
“Tell me your wish.”
“I want you to come to my house without possessions.”
“What do you mean?”
“I want you to leave your home, your clothes, jewels, furniture, your valuables, your friends, habits and thoughts.
I want you to leave your former life entirely.”
“Am I to come naked?”
“I’m serious, my dear. I want you to come to your new life as if newly born.”
“And the children?”
“The children also. “
“Their toys, dolls, books… “
“Nothing.”
She mulls it over and instead of outright refusing this absurd request, she actually considers it.
“I must talk to them.”
“It’s your decision.”
“I can decide for myself, but not for the children. I must ask them.”
“They must sacrifice something for their mother’s happiness.[ ..] Think it over, Emilie.”
“I’ve already thought it over. For me it’s not hard to grant your wish. I’ve never cared for anything very seriously.
I’ve sometimes wondered if there wasn’t something very wrong with my feelings. I couldn’t understand why nothing really hurt… why I never felt really happy.
I know now that the crucial moment has come.
I know that we’ll hurt each other, but I’m not afraid.
I also know that we will make each other happy.
And I sometimes weep from fear, because time is so short, the days pass so quickly, and nothing lasts forever.
Kiss me, now, and hold me in your arms, as only you can.”
Urgh, I had expected her to tell him to shove it. His request is not only equivalent to an austere lifestyle without any comforts that she was used to (basically asking her to change herself to suit him) but also a request to also change other people’s lives to suit him. A renegation of her belongings (which a person gathers through the years because guess what – they actually like things) meaning a renegation of her likes and wants. He’s basically telling her to “reset”.
This would be acceptable if this was a buddhist temple and you leave your belongings at the door and enter a life of spirituality where you’re trying to enhance the soul – but to ask this of a mother – of her children – it just felt so much.
What is he sacrificing? “A little sacrifice” story comes to mind from The Witcher (recently animated in the Siren’s movie). Both parties must make an equal amount of sacrifice in a love story to prevent years of resentment.
But maybe he’s that good in bed and she’s chasing her own desires and happiness screwing her children’s life in the process (like countless other women who have children and are dating unsuitable men). Maybe low self-esteem, maybe high attraction levels, maybe afraid of being alone? All of those things don’t matter anymore when you have little ones.
The scene fades into the marriage vows where the little boy is seeing the ghost of his father sadly staring at him from their lushly decorated house, almost like sadly saying goodbye.
One Book a Week (Julia Reads Books) 