So I watched another Woody Allen classic and there’s a scene where this ophtamologist discusses his affair with his congregation priest, Ben, in hope of alleviating some of the dread and guilt that have been building up.

“May I confide in you?”
“Of course. Go ahead. Everything’s confidential.”
“I’ve done a foolish thing. Senseless, vain, dumb.
Another woman.
Maybe I was flattered, vulnerable.
Maybe because she was helpless and alone, I don’t know.
But now my life’s about to go up in smoke.”
“Can’t you break it off?”
“The woman won’t allow it.
She’s young. She’s very unstable.
She’s an hysteric.
And vindictive. And it’s my fault.
I instigated it. I prolonged it.
Many times I tried to back off, but I was too weak.
But I promised her nothing. But did I? See, I don’t even know anymore.
In the heat of passion, you say things. All I know is, after two years of shameful deceit, where I led this double life, I awakened as if from a dream and realized what I’d be losing.”
“It’s called wisdom. It comes to some suddenly.
We realize the difference between what’s real and deep and lasting versus the superficial payoff of the moment.”
“You know, I kidded myself about loving her, but deep down I knew, knowing I behaved selfishly. For pleasure, for adventure, for lust.
“Sometimes when there’s real love and true acknowledgment of a mistake, there can be, uh, forgiveness, too.

I know Miriam.
Her values, her feelings, her place among our friends and colleagues…
But what choice do you have if the woman is going to tell her?
You… You have to confess the wrong and hope for understanding and maybe Miriam was responsible in some ways, too, and you have to discuss it and hope for the best.
And maybe you and Miriam can never go back to the old life, but maybe there’s a new one with maturity and understanding. “
“Maybe I…”
“Maybe even a richer one.”
“You know what’s funny? Our entire adult lives, you and I have been having this same conversation in one form or another.”
“Yes, I know.”
“It’s a fundamental difference in the way we view the world. You see it as harsh and empty of values and pitiless, and I couldn’t go on living if I didn’t feel with all my heart a moral structure with real meaning and forgiveness. And some kind of higher power. Otherwise, there’s no basis to know how to live.
And I know you well enough to know that a spark of that notion is inside you somewhere, too.”
“Now, you’re talking to me like your congregation.”
“It’s true. We went from a small infidelity to the meaning of existence.
“Miriam won’t think two years of scheming and dishonesty is a… is a small infidelity.”

Read more about Crimes and misdemeanors: https://oberon481.typepad.com/oberons_grove/2007/11/crimes-misdemea.html