“What happened to your cat? He was running around the whole village like the devil was on his tail.”
–
“Well he got castrated yesterday and now he’s canceling all his dates.”

Emergency call at the police station:

“Please come quick. It’s a life and death situation. Our dog has become very aggressive. He might do something to me.”
–
“Who is there?”
–
“The cat.”

A cow says to a small kitten, “Look at you, so small and already such long facial hear.”

The kitten cooly replies, “Yeah, look at you, so big but still no bra.”

A Chinese student is looking for an inexpensive room to rent. He finds one, but the owner warns him, “Yes, you can have the room. But we have a dog and two cats. I hope you like them.”
“No problem,” beams the student, “I’m happy to eat anything!”