Ever wanted to hear more than 100 ways to say to wank
Here are all the terms we could find for Wanking. If you know any others, do not hesitate to send it to us and we’ll honour you in the update
| jerkin your mcgerkin White Water Wristing A little five on one Abuse the fuse Adjust your set Anger the cobra Anger the pickle Answer the bone-a-phone Appease the cheese Arm-wrestle the one eyed champ Asexual reproduction Autofellatio Auto-manipulation Ax the timber Badger the witness Bag that ass up Bait the mast Bake cream cakes Bake the cheese Banana squeezing Bang yourself Bank off shoot goo Bash the bishop Baste the turkey Battle the Cyclops Be a loner Beat it Beat off Beat Pedro Beat the banger Beat the beef Beat the bishop Beat the bologna Beat the hog Beat the meat Beat the monkey Beat the morning wood (like every good boy should) Beat the one eye snake Beat the one eyed monster Beat the rat Beat the red-headed ****-eyed woodpecker Beat the **** Beat the stepchild Beat the stick Beat the weasel Beat up shorty Beat your **** Beat your gorilla Beat your pud Beat your skin Beatin’ the baby batter Beef the jerky Beef-strokin’-off Ben your Franklin Bend the banana *****-slapping your stomper Blind the one eyed monster Blow a wad Blow the ceiling Blow up Blow wad Blow your load Blow your nose Boff up Bollock milking Bop the boa Bop the bologna Bounce Tigger Bounce your balls Box Oscar Box the clown Box the Jesuit Bringin’ ya milk Buff the bullet Buff the pickle Burp the baby Burp the frog Burp the worm Bust a Nut Busting the left nut instead of the right one Butter the corn Call the captain Caress your zesty zambonie Chafe the squirtgun Charm the python Charm the snake Checkin’ the Ol’ Dipstick Cheesin Choke Choke the bishop Choke the chicken Choke the Choir Boy Choke the chubby Choke the monkey Choke the one eyed snake Choke the Pope Choke the sheriff and wait for the posse Choke the unemployed Chunking Churn butter Churn seed Circle jerk Clean the clock Clean the pipes Clear the snorkel Club the cucumber **** blockin **** pulling **** smack **** snot Come to daddy Corralling the tadpoles Crank it Crank one out Crank the cable Crank the crane Crank the gear Crank the one-eyed yogurt thrower Cream the cake Croke the frog Crown the bishop Cruzin’ then Oozin’ Cuff the carrot Cuff the monkey *** and go *** on self *** on your tum ***-lets-play Curl the honey Daily duties Dancing around the maypole Dancing with Mother Knuckle and her five daughters Dancing with the one eye sailor Dangle the Donkey Date Palmela Handerson Date Paula and her 4 sisters Date Rosie Palmer and her five sisters Date with Rosie bone and her five sisters Deal cards Deload the gun Despunk Destroying the slots machine Diddle your bob Do a load by hand. Do Mary Palm and her 5 sisters Do shoupa shoupa Do the dishes Do the janitor thing Do the Johnson and ball dance Do yourself Dog off Doing the Palm sisters Dong around Donkey punch Double Clicking The mouse Dr. Spankenstein Time Drain the dragon Drain the lizard Drain the pipes Drain the snake Drain the vein Drill for oil Drop a load before work. Drop the chalupa Drop the kids off at the pool. Duke your Jim Eat the egg Empty the banana Empty the pipes Empty your gunbarrel Erupt old faithful Erupt the volcano Exhaust the camel Exorcise your demons Extra long shower Fake ****in’ |
Get off Get some me time Get sticky Get the job done Get to know yourself Give the dog a bone Give the dog a walk Giving Kojak the third degree Giving yourself a helping hand Go and have a slap Go at it Go blind Go down to the zipper mart to pick up a pound of pork Go for a spoof Go nut Grab the gusto Grab the handle Grab the meat Grapple the gorilla Grease the Pole Grease the rod Grease the wheel Great thoughts Greet Mr. Happy Greet the bishop Greeting Madam Palm and her 5 lovely daughters Grind the gopher Grind the groundhog Groom the Wookie Ham shank Hammer the lumber Hammer the helmet head Hand **** Hand happy Hand hold Hand humpin’ Hand jive Hand sex Hand shandy Hand Start the Yogurt Shooter Hand to Gland combat Hand to gland combat Hand, **** co-ordination Handle the merchandise Handy sandy Handy Shandy Hans Solo Harass the milkman Have a Barclays (Barclays Bank — WAN K – rhyming slang) Have a chug Have a frapp Have a tug Have a tug of war with Cyclops Have a wank Have fun Have sex with someone you love High-five Yule Brenner Hip the hop Hit the mitt Hitch-hike to heaven Hold the knob Hold the man Hold your baseball bat Hold your sausage hostage Home alone Homework Hone the bone Hump the hand Hump the Hebrew Hump the knob Hump the matress Idle hands Impregnate the air Increase the surface temperature of the ship’s primary cannon using rapid linear motion Inside Slider with two balls Interrogate the prisoner Interrogate the witness Introduce Mr. ***** to Mrss Palm and her five lovely daughters Jack off Jack the beanstock Jack the frank Jack yo mac Jedi train in the bathroom Jerk and clean Jerk around Jerk it Jerk off Jerk pud Jerk the beef Jerk the chain Jerk the *** Jerk the general Jerk the Johnson Jerk the monkey Jerk the one-eyed snake Jerk the pet Jerk you **** Jerk your chain Jerk your gherkin Jerkin’ the gherkin Jingle the Pringles Jingle your bone Jizsturbation Jock the sock Jog the joker Josh one off Juggle the balls Jump the pogo stick Just getting dressed Just going up to the office to use the photocopier Just gonna go lay down and take a nap… Just gonna go take a bath… Just need a little time with my e-mail, that’s all… Keepin’ the mortar clean Kill the gentleman Kill the Mr. Tingley Kneading the bread Knob thumping Knock one off Knock one off Knock the rock Knuckle shuffle Launch the hand shuttle Launch the rocket Lead pedro down the road of bulimia Leak the lizard Let Elvis leave the building Let loose the juice Lift your spirit Lighting the Roman Candle Liquidate inventory Log off Log the lumber Lollygagging Lope the mule Lope the mule Love yourself Lube the tube Lubricate the Lutheran Magic your Johnson Make a deposit Make cream Make friends with the lizard Make instant icing Make it spit Make it useful Make junior vomit Make love to Miss Michigan Make one on one love Make one-eye cry Make Peter puke Make stomach pancakes Make the bald guy puke Make the bald guy puke Make the Cyclops cry Make the Cyclops fight the 5 headed monster Make the Cyclops spit Make the funny juice flow Make the one eyed monster puke Make the privates stand at attention, then fall in Make the snake puke Make your own hand lotion Makin babies Mangle the moose Manipulate your manhood Marry the moose Massage my palm Massage my stiff joint Massage out the stiffness Massage the salami Massage the soul Massage your balls Massage your clovers Meat off Meat-Beat Meet Mother Palm and her five daughters Meet the neighbors Meet the President Milk it Milk Murray Milk the beef Milk the **** Milk the cow Milk the goat Milk the hose Milk the lizard Milk the Magnesia Milk the Mickey Milk the one eyed trouser snake Milk the one-eyed snake Milk the one-uttered cow Milk your meat Milk yourself Molest the bystander Money comes out Monkey dance Move the joystick Mr. Happy and his five friends have a party. Mrs. palmer and her 5 daughters My Wife Nuke the whale Number 3 Oil the barber pole Oil the barrel Oil the Crank Oil the noodle One hand work out One handed pole vault One man and a hand One man show Our Gang Spanky Marathon Paddling the pony Paint Pontius Pilate’s Palace Paint the ceiling Paint the wall Palm loving Pamela Handerson Pan for white gold Party for one Pat the monkey Pat the Robertson Pay bills Pay the pope Peel the banana Peel the carrot Peeling chilies Pet the bald eagle Pet the donkey Pet the ghurkin Pet the one eyed monster Pet the one eyed snake Pet the one-eyed gopher Pet the potato Pet the snake Pet the Willy Pet your third leg Pickle your peter Pimp pump Piston pushing Play a solo on my private organ Play ball with the boys Play five on one Play golf Play peek-a-boo alone Play pocket pool Play skin Banjo Play solitaire Play the bag pipe Play the meat pipe Play the skin flute Play tug of war with Cyclops Play with Burt Reynolds mustache Play with Fistina Play with Fred Play with lil’ Elvis Play with Mr. Panky Play with myself Play with Peter Play with Pikachu Play with Rosey Palm Play with the pud Play with the purple headed yogurt slinger Play with Wally Play with Willy the wonder worm Play with your **** and balls Play with yourself Play your guitar Play Zelda Pluck the ducky Pluck the mushroom Pocket billiards Pocket fishing Pocket pool |
Polish Lord Helmet Polish the baton Polish the bishop Polish the candlestick Polish the dolphin Polish the helmet Polish the knob Polish the Ol’ Torpedo Polish the one eyed gopher Polish the one eyed weasel Polish the Papal Podium Polish the pewter Polish the piston Polish the pope Polish the shaft Polish the silver Polish the sword of happiness Polish the torpedo Polish your Oscar Polish your pipe Polish your rocket Polish your whistle Polishing the periscope Pop the head Pop the pistol Pop the top off the Champaign bottle Portuguese pump Pound off Pound the flounder Pound the hammer Pound the pony Pound the pud Powder your nose Prime the pump handle Prune the shroom Pud pulling Pud whacking Puddin’ Pull a quickie Pull and squirt Pull dinky Pull it Pull it hard Pull Nixon’s nose Pull off Pull one off Pull one out of the bag… Pull pud Pull Stretch Armstrong Pull the chain Pull the cord Pull the dog’s tail Pull the fun lever Pull the goalie Pull the meat Pull the noodle Pull the pickle Pull the pig Pull the pipe Pull the plowman Pull the Polish pork Pull the pork Pull the turkey Pull your plumb Pull your pud Pull your toy Pull your wire Pulling your Yankee Doodle Pump Pump jacks Pump mini me Pump sperm Pump the balls Pump the Pole Pump the watergun Pump your gun Pump your pud Pump’n the water rocket Punch the clown Punch the eclair Punch the monkey Punch the munchkin Punish Percy in the palm Punish the evil merchant Puppy whacking Pushing the envelope Put Mr. Kleenex’s kids through college Putting Mayonnaise On The Garlic Bread Ram the rod Rattle the one eyed snake Ream the one eyed semen demon Release some steam Release the hounds Release the pressure Release the valves Relieve your sperm bank Relieving a little tension Relish up the hot dog Remove the rust Ricky Wrestling Ride the big dipper Ride The Dolphin Ride the rod Ride to heaven Ring your **** Rinse on Rocketing Rod yankin Roll dice Rolling the dough Rope the mule Rope your goat Rough up the little man Rough up the suspect Row the boat Rub a dub dub Rub it silly Rub one off Rub one out Rub the button Rub the faucet Rub the fireman’s helmet Rub the knob! Rub the magic lamp Rub the pipe Rub the rhubarb Rub the rod Rub the sausage Rub the tool Rub your monkey Rub your nub Rubadubdub Run off a batch Salute the flag pole Salute the general Salute the scumlord Sausage stroking Say hello to Mr. Happy Say hello to the colonel of love Say hi to your monster Scramble the sausage Scrub the deck Self deflation Self diddle Self **** Self ****ing Self gratification Self indulgence Self motivation Self service Self sex Self-satisfaction Self-suck Sex with da hands Sex with Simon Shag your shank Shag-yer-self Shake hands w/the unemployed Shake hands with a pole Shake hands with Abraham Lincoln Shake hands with Ben Franklin Shake hands with Elvis Shake hands with Mr Peeper Shake hands with the ambassador of love Shake hands with the devil Shake hands with the governor Shake hands with the one eyed milk man Shake hands with the president Shake hands with the sheriff Shake hands with the unemployed Shake hands with the wife’s wedding present Shake hot, white coconuts from the veiny love tree Shake it Shake my finger Shake off Shake the bottle Shake the goo off Shake the grapes Shake the old man Shake the pepperpot Shake the snake Shake the snake Shake with the tall guy Shake your fist angrily at your ex-girlfriend Shake your martini Shakin’ the bacon Shaking hand with Colonel Sanders Shampoo the carpet Shampoo the moose Sharpen the pencil Shift with the manual transmission Shine the bishop Shine the car Shine the helmet Shine the pole Shine the spear Shine the telescope Shine the wood Shine your salami Shock the monkey Shoot for pearls Shoot hoops Shoot old yeller Shoot putty at the moon Shoot putty at the moon Shoot the gun Shoot the plane Short-arm stroking Shroom pullin’ Shuck the corn cob Shuck the cornstalk Sin dirty with thy self Siphon the python Skin the sarge Skin the sausage Skin your frank Slam the ham Slam the stick Slap little Johnny behind the German helmet Slap spanky Slap the bishop Slap the carrot Slap the **** Slap the dummy Slap the ham Slap the salami Slap the salmon Slap the sausage Slap the stick Slap you **** Slay the dragon Slick the stick Slime the salamy Slobbin’ the Milosevich Smack Smack baldy on the head Smack my pud Smack off Smack the burrito Smack the salami Smack your monkey Smelly jelly making Smoke the turkey Sneak a wink at wiggly Sock the **** Solo serve Spank frank Spank it Spank Milo Spank off Spank one Spank that ass Spank the chicken Spank the dolphin Spank the hotdog Spank the money Spank the monkey Spank the old lady Spank the pup Spank the sausage Spank the Spam Spank your love life Spank your monkey Spank your pud Spanktervision Spanky’s Revenge Speed shifting Spend time with an old friend Spewin’ a white one Spill milk Spin the dreidel Spit da’ sperm Spit shine the knob Splish Splah Sploshing Sporting the tent Spraying the belly with sticky white love-piss Spunk the monkey Spunk up Squeeze a few rounds off on the pump action shotgun Squeeze cheese Squeeze off a load Squeeze one off Squeeze the big guy Squeeze the Charmin Squeeze the Cyclops Squeeze the duck’s head Squeeze the juice out the head Squeeze the lemon Squeeze the sausage Squeeze the squid Squeeze the tomato Squeeze the Twinkie Squeeze you lizard |
Squirt the Bert Squish the squid Stain the mitt Start the engine Start the lawnmower Stick it Stick shifting Stock Stoke the Strokin’ stack Strangle the bishop Strangle the one-eyed trouser snake Strangle the snake Strangle the snake Strangle the warrior Stress reliever Stretch it Stretch one out Stretch the salami Stretching the truth Strike oil Strip the bark Stroke Stroke it Stroke off Stroke that big thing Stroke the chicken Stroke the choad Stroke the **** stroke the crank Stroke the ding-dong Stroke the dolphin Stroke the donkey Stroke the longhorn Stroke the manroot Stroke the monkey Stroke the mushroom Stroke the oar Stroke the schlong Stroke the shaft Stroke the slug Stroke the stick Stroke the strudel Stroke the stump Stroke the weasel Stroke the yoke Stroke your **** Stroking the dog Stroking the fireman Stroking the flagpole Struggle for life Strum the drum Strum your guitar Summon the jizz Swat off Swing the balls Swing the thing Tackling the totem Take a load off Take a ride on the slip n’ slide Take a squirt Take batting practice Take Capt Solo on the Kessel Run Take Captain Picard to Warp Speed Take care of a big problem Take care of business Take matters in hand Take the edge off Take the sausage hostage Take your banana boat to tuna town Tame the beast Tame the one eyed spitting snake Tame the shrew Tame the vein Taming the purple headed warrior Tantalizing your toboggan Tap a teste Teach the dog a lesson Teach the monkey Tease the weasel Tease to please Teasing one out Tenderize the meat Tenderize the pork Tenderize the steak Test the probe Test the purple headed yogurt thrower Thawing the meat The gentle handshake The ol’ 5 against 1 The ***** pull The right hand maneuver The sofa The twist Thelma Thumb and her four sisters Think of your mom Thump the stump Thumping the stump Tickle the angus Tickle the meat curtains Tickle the peter Tickle the pickle Tickle the tentacle Tickle the tiger Tip the hat Tommy Tank Toot the horn Torture little Timmy Torture the monkey Toss off Toss the salad Touch the toucher Touch yourself Train the chicken Train the purple-headed warrior Tug the handle Tug the tassel Tug the turkey Tug your rope Tugging the boat Tug-O-War With Cyclops Turn Japanese Tweak your tool. Twiddle the bone flute Ugly Man Sex Unisex Unleashing Unload your gun Unsheathe the meat sword Up and down Use the joystick Vex the vicar Vice grip Virgin Love Visit the petting zoo Vote Republican Wag it Wag the dog Walk the dog Wang chungin Wang off Wank Wank and crank Wank it Wank off Wank the monkey Wank the pud Wank the sock Wank the wanker Wank the willy Wank your shank Wankin and spankin Wanky panky Wash the Buick Wash the rod Watch some pooh Wax the Bat Wax the bishop Wax the carrot Wax the chrome Wax the dolphin Wax the flagpole Wax the frog Wax the ol’ Torpedo Wax the pole Wax the weasel Wax the willie Wax the Winnebago Weenie whacking Wet the whistle Whack it Whack jack Whack off Whack off like a red-headed stepchild Whack the Chalupa Whack the pole Whack the pud Whack the rod Whack the weasel Whack the wizard Whack the wood Whack your wack Whackin winky Whacking it Wham the bone Wheel it Whip it Whip pud Whip the noodle Whip the weenie Whip up some baby batter. Whippin’ cream Whipping’ it good Whipping the skippy White Water Wristing White water wristing Whittle the wood Whoop the mule Whoop your pudd Wind up the **** clock Wind your sun dial Windsurf on Mt. Baldy Withdraw from the spankbank Work out the third leg Workin’ it Working the wiligger Wrestle the bald head champion Wrestle the champ Wrestle the turkey Wrestle with Jimmy Wrestle with the one eyed champ Wrestle with the one-eyed monster Wrestle with the one-eyed-trouser snake Yank off Yank the chain Yank the crank Yank the dog Yank the plank Yank the sausage Yank the Yankee Yankie the Wankie Yolk the egg Tossing the todger. A handy shandy. the ultimate rub. striking the dry king touching the leeching petting the big thing Doin the horizontal handshake |
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